Social Issues

Don’t Condone These Regressive Sexist Comments! Recognize And React

We live in a era of female rights where loud proclamations of reservations and equal pay are rife. But knowingly or not, we are still living in an era where sexist comments camouflaged as acknowledging a woman’s eminence. It is high time we grow above these vile, veiled backscratches and see sense.

The subtle sexist comments:

Benevolent sexism – My wife is so sacrificing:

Praise a woman who shows the least self-worth as the most angelic human being, use her as an example to put down an opinionated woman. You should see sense and understand that it is a trick to make a woman pledge her individuality. The single word to this veiled trick is benevolent sexism.

Sexist comment - Conditioning control

Don’t let yourself fall for this trick. It is a conditioning that has been used for centuries to make sure that a woman is discouraged from thinking about herself. By proclaiming that she keeps everyone as a priority and thus she is a goddess , they make sure that she is think twice before thiking about herself. Who would want to stop hearing those praises. This in turn conditions a woman to think that she is perfect because she is keeping herself a least priority. Hence she passes on this ideology to her next generations. Haven’t you heard ” oh! these women should bow before her. She handles the household single handedly”. When you hear this next time, just ask if she is incapable of loving herself.

I let her do everything:

This is an even more dangerous trend. By “letting” her they are making themselves an entitled being who has the power of approval. Why should someone let another person do this or that? Is the other person asking for this “letting” or not letting. A man who lets his wife to do what she likes is not an ideal husband. He is also yet another control freak that makes sure that she doesn’t do anything without his permission. “He will anyways permit but let me ask him” , would be the poor woman’s thought.

Sexist comment - Benevolent sexism

Next time you hear this comment from a man or a woman for that matter, you tell that that letting or not letting is not their choice. Doing or not doing is her choice.

He isn’t man enough to control his wife:

This is a comment used widely especially in the Indian community. Indirectly they are condoning domestic violence by stating that a man can beat his wife to make her see sense. This line is widely used by men and women alike. Because even the women are conditioned to think that a man is responsible for controlling his wife’s actions. Why doesn’t this comment arise in the context of a woman? Isn’t the gender parity clear?

Sexist comments that support domestic violence

Next time you hear this comment, tell them ” I am going to sue you for supporting domestic violence”.

We don’t need feminism:

The women who state this want to be treated with respect, be recognized for what they do, have an equal voice in household decisions but don’t want feminism. Because according to them feminism is a rebellion against men. Little do they know that feminism is a simple call for all these equals that they want. Feminism has been portrayed of late as a regressive term that degrades the society. Why this unawareness about such a valuable movement?

Sexist comments that misinterpret feminism

Being a feminist, I don’t even support female reservation. Let the women be promoted based on the merits. Isn’t that the real feminism? But Alas! A bunch of pseudofeminists has blown this false notion out of proportion. Hence the name feminist brings to mind, a woman with a large bindi/nosepin with a black spectacle wearing Jute saree or kurta and is flagbearer of misandry. Why? Why should this geenration spoil the decades long fights to equality with this false notion?

I control my husband:

This has been a new trend to make their spouses cut ties with their friends and family in the name of woman’s right. Like a woman, a man too has the right to enjoy and have fun provided he reciprocates it. This is the continuaton of the feministic comment. We have been suppressed for the longest time but that doesn’t mean that it is time to turn the tables. A woman need not treated with respect because she is a woman. She should be respected on the basis of her character(not the submissive, self-loathing one), credibility, and capability.

Sexist comment - Female chauvinism

You husband is not your private property. He has the right to have his family with him, along with his friends. You too have a bunch of friends of your own and stop locking your better half behind you in the name of woman’s rights. We should see the difference between feminism and female chauvinism. We are living in an era where giving salary for domestic work are discussed but equal respect is imperative.

Comments don’t end here:

  • Gentlemen shoul pull a chair for women – A man need not pull the chair or open the doors for a woman. She is capable of doing it.
  • Gentlemen should hold the shopping bags – A man need not hold his wife’s shopping bags
  • Gentlement should open the car doors – Car door has a knob not some unliftable weight. She can open it.
  • Ladies first – There is nothing called ladies first. Let the most capable be first.
  • Men don’t cry – Men do cry. Tear glands are not situated in the uterus that only women could use it.
  • Why don’t she go with family? – Girls can go out alone with friends. That doesn’t give anyone license to misbehave.
  • He looks like a girl – Boys can look like girls and vice versa because they are born from the union of two different genders.
  • After all you are a girl – Well does that need even an explanation?
  • I will teach you a lesson and you will rise after 9 months only –No man can teach a woman a lesson in 9 months. It is she who decides what comes out of her in 9 months. It could be mentural blood or a child. She decides.

So from now onwards, stop letting her do it. It should be her choice, not yours. You can give an opinion as an equal partner, not an order. Stop making her see sense with your hands. After a couple of decades, the same hands might need her help to rise. We need feminism. Because feminism is equality, not misandry. Hence from now onwards let’s not silently condone these sexist comments. Be strong Love yourself. Nurture your soul.

32 thoughts on “Don’t Condone These Regressive Sexist Comments! Recognize And React”

  1. Hello,Rakhi Jayashankar ma’am
    What an inspirational and interesting topic you covered here. We must understand this thing. I just loved the way you defined this topic with your valuable words. All points are thinkable.
    Thanks a ton for this wonderful post.
    ~ Sweety Joshi

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is definitely a very powerful post. Term feminist is misused and misinterpreted to a great extent. I loved your take and agree with all of them. These sexist comments should be erased from the society.


  3. Such a though provoking post and I agree that in our society these kind of sexist comments are so common and people sometimes re act in that way because they had seen this since generations. loved the end note of post. there are many important factors need to consider before making that kind of comment or judgment. Rather than just focus on gender thing.


  4. Heard every one of these lines some or the other time in life. Statements that display regressive thinking, by either genders, only push the subtle bullying and victimising narrative. Good post.


  5. It’s every individuals ladies go through in our daily life with such comments a well to go post we should definitely read and share to understand in better way…


  6. Thanks for such a relevant post. It is these sexist comments that create social norms and dictate behaviour. Very important to address these. On a separate note, loved the cartoons. Did you create them yourself?


  7. This is such a brilliant and thought-provoking post. We are a part of the society that not just conditions women but also men from a very young age to believe in such notions. It’s time to understand what’s wrong with the mindset of people and correct it, recognize & react.


  8. You have addressed a very good issue here and some of these comments are not even bothersome as such. But many men and women do have it in them to think that they should allow their partners to have the permission to do things


  9. While we live in a so called modern era, the thinking of people is still backward. No man the right to control his woman and no woman likewise has the right to nag and control her man.. love respect and mutual understanding is the sole thing to help grow as an equal.


  10. You know what Rakhi, I had a good laugh. Pardon me but I know its a serious topic and I hear you loud and clear but the tear glands are not situated in the uterus split me up.
    I agree with this totally ” the name feminist brings to mind, a woman with a large bindi/nose pin with a black spectacle-wearing Jute saree or kurta and is the flagbearer of misandry”


  11. I am glad you wrote this post. We often ignore such comments but they need to be addressed and rightly given back. People don’t understand the seriousness while saying things loosely this way.


  12. The pointers in the post are so apt and mostly used by the society or people sub consciously. We need to raise kids and usage of words should be proper. I believe the mindset needs to be changed and then comments will follow. Great post and liked your creatives too that speaks volumes.


  13. This is such a thought provoking post. These sarcastic and hypocritic comments have been inbuilt in our society since a long time. It’s hightime we learn to recognise the real intention behind these comments.


  14. This post is thought provoking when it comes to a society that is ever so regressive. I have shared it, saved it and reading it over and over again.


  15. That is a very strong and powerful message. We have been hearing these sexist comments since ages. its time to put on a hold


  16. This is so relatable . And all these comments are actually happen in life . I really enjoy your answers on all these sexist comments.


  17. You spoke my mind dear in this article. these are subtle statements we are prone to in our daily lives right from childhood days but they have great impact on our personalities. We need to create more awareness for the same.


  18. What a post!!! Loved it absolutely!! I believe that these sarcastic comments have been around since ages. Its time to put a full stop to it. But at the same time it is very important for women and men to understand each other, give space, respect and trust each other and most importantly treat each other as equals. Only then we will be free of a sexist community


  19. Relatable post and have heard these lines many a times. You covered a very good topic here and there’s a need of awareness regarding this. Your reply on all those comments are perfect. And I loved the pictures you have added here. You converted this serious topic into a simpler and easy to understand version with your creativity.


  20. Such an interesting and real images.. it’s always nice to hear from you when it’s for us. mindset need to be changed and you put your hands just there… Lovely one..after reading this so many comments are coming into my mind 😃😃.


  21. Yes yes yes! Being a sexist is the worst thing a human can be. Controlling one’s spouse or silently going through a treatment are both wrong. It’s time we speak up about right and wrong and educate our children rightly.


  22. You have discussed very good topic… I guess we all heard these sexiet comments and it hurts our feelings. This is very well penned article. And love the illustrations👍👍


  23. Jus loved it.. and gonna share with my frnds as well. Loved each n every bitbof dis article. It is soo so true… Actually sad but true.. women should know their worth. It’s not bad to keep ur family as a priority but my dear ladies we also have one life and sometimes yes we so have right to live it in d way we like….


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.