Off late, I haven’t been writing anything on atrocities towards women. However we write, these practices will not end because the psychopaths who find pleasure in a fellow being’s extreme pain cannot be changed with these posts or protests. I would say that the stigma of the society towards mental disorders is the main reason behind these acts because a normal person can never assort to such level of felony. Today my post is on the flip side of this issue.
INJUSTICE TOWARDS MEN
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Past one year I have witnessed that several of my friends and relatives are subjected to unfair treatment by their wives. Some got divorced, some even annulled marriage and a minority still put up with this.
What would be the thought process in a girl’s mind if she asks for divorce on the fourth day of her wedding just because her cousins think that she could have gotten a better looking guy? Why did she marry in the first place? The guy was intelligent enough to annul the wedding at the earliest.
In another instance, a girl was seen marrying a guy as a stop gap arrangement before her lover got settled? Seriously? ?What about the guy who was fooled by this whole drama. If he reacts, he will have to face litigation citing 498/A. If he doesn’t react he will be tagged as a gay. Yes, it is the new trend to tag men who respect women as gay. Why? Gays are not human beings? Don’t they have integrity?
Well, that’s not the topic concern in this post. So, citing a third example, a guy who is an NRI got married and left for middle east leaving his wife in India. What follows next is a story of treachery, extra marital affair and debauchery. While heading for divorce, he was asked to give compensation to the woman who cheated him and robbed him in broad daylight. Succumbing to the blackmail that he would be charged of domestic violence if not concurring to the alimony, which in turn will affect his job and visa, he paid whatever was asked.
The most funniest and the most painful example is that of a guy who spent all his life’s savings to satisfy his wife whom he dated for years. When she left him she took whatever she could get from him and vanished into thin air. When he tried to contact her, what he could get was a plain denial and a demand that her advocate would be doing all verbal as well as legal correspondence.
Why does laws which empower women turn blind eye towards men? Why isn’t there a men’s commission? Why do rapists go scotfree whereas men who were cheated and subjected to injustice have to suffer? Why isn’t there a system to show some degree of discretion?
All this doesn’t point to the disintegration of our cultural heritage. It is a mind set that has developed from selfishness, arrogance and apathy, which is collectively named by the new generation as pragmatism.
Where does the deterioration begin? Does empowering women mean destroying a man’s life or does it mean that women should be apathetic towards men. There are chauvinistic rogues among men but does that give us reason enough to generalize everyone. Once I asked one my friends to obey her husband in a particular context. She took offence of my statement and said
“Obey? What do you mean by obey? I’m not a slave like you. We move as a team”. I was awestruck. Does obeying your spouse or partner make you their slaves? This applies to both genders. Obedience doesn’t mean imposing your rules on each other. It is just paying heed to each other’s suggestions.
One should not tolerate an abusive spouse but that doesn’t mean that you should set out on a non cooperation spree with everyone . Stop belittling your friends if they prioritize their spouse. Stop bullying your friends if they listen to their spouse because a relationship proceeds only through adjustments, sacrifices and understanding. There is nothing wrong in ‘obeying’ your spouse, provided, they reciprocate it and the demands are logical.
To all girls and boys out there, if you are not ready for a marriage, please don’t get married. If you are in a relation, don’t get married to another person just to come back to your old paramour. Please don’t play with another person’s life because you don’t have the right to do so. If someone is a simpleton, you don’t get the license to play with their feelings and life.