Stop being a religious or political fanatic- be a human first.

I have been seeing a lot of posts and comments saying a Hindu raped , a sanghi raped, a police officer raped. The minor who raped Jyoti Singh was a Muslim. Does that mean that all Muslims are rapists. Shame on you for using that girl’s pain for your political and religious gains.

You don’t even have the brains to realise that these brutals don’t even deserve to be called a human being let alone any political or religious tags or Indian. These are all nothing but a group of creeps. You also become one among them when you use this incident for your personal gains and to win an arguement . By the way, who am I talking to?

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How important it is to go to beauty parlour on a regular basis

When I first did my eyebrows, ie in 2003,( Does that make me look old-SShhh), it was considered a blasphemy to go to beauty parlor. I have looked around to see if anyone is watching me. Now times have changed. Now-a-days, if someone doesn’t go to a parlor, they are considered obsolete creeps. I have been asked a lot of times why I let my eyebrows grow so much. It is when  I get those weird looks that I remember that those tiny hairs follicles have sucked up all the oil that is supposed to be absorbed into my scalp. Just imagine our hair, I mean the real hair grow so fast ! Unfortunately the upper-lips, eyebrows and our scalp are under fierce competition and sadly the scalp fails miserably, at-least in my case.

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Photo coutesy: http://www.linkersweddingsolutions.com

I have always wanted to find someone who hates doing the eyebrows, upperlips, waxing and all the paraphernalia like I do. It to fifteen to find Prajakta Kohli, the youtuber who bravely declared that she hates going to the parlor and get tortured by paying the hard earned money.

Shameless

Photo Courtesy: http://www.radioandmusic.com

That was a breezer for me and I took the cue. Now my Venus Razor and Tweezer are my philosopher’s stones. Just a touch and my skin turns gold: Pun Intended. If not the perfection that the threads provide us or the smoothness that waxing presents, I could do pretty well without the torture techniques inside the congested cabins.

Now I the last June, a year after my third delivery, I decided to pamper myself and went to a parlor to do facial, pedicure, manicure, hair spa and what not. After spending a fortune, when I looked myself in the mirror, all I could see is the same person with dark circles, grey hair and a lot of insecurities and complexes. That was my enlightening moment. That’s when I realized all this is a farce. Spending a day might be a confidence boost for many but for me it is nothing but a big time confidence buster because the beautician out there never fails to rub it on my face that I have aged over the years, which is quite natural, and my skin has taken up all the wear and tear, which could be cured only by a regular visit to the parlor. Come on! Whom are you kidding. I am a mother of three and gained and lost weight like a balloon in the hands of a kid. If there is an extra wrinkle or dark circle on my face that is because of the extra effort I have invested in bringing up my cuties.

The moment I started accepted myself as how I am, I was devoid of the insecurities, which could have landed me in depression. I have heard girls saying that they feel unhygienic if not undergone a pedicure, manicure clean up etc etc; As if cleaning yourself is a beautician’s job. If you feel a morale boost from parlors, well and good but stop judging people who don’t like to. Just because they don’t undergo expensive treatments, don’t think that they are obsolete, unhygienic and primitive. If you don’t like going to a parlor simply ditch it and live your life the way you like. Trust me! The moment you start loving yourself, you will be over all judgement and you will be the happiest person on the planet.  1523533123518

Love yourself for noone can love you as much as you do-

 

The best seller formula

To see one’s book among the bestsellers is always a writer’s dream. I too have dreamed of seeing my book in vertical and spiral stacks in the book stalls and people staring at the stacks with unveiled admiration. Once I set out to the world of publishing, I realised that to get past the slush pile is never an easy job. However perfect you think your book would be, there are some formulas that you need to apply, which will make your book acceptable to the publishers, let alone hit the jackpot.
On reading some of the bestsellers, have you ever thought that you could write a better story? Did you ever wonder how a particular book be accepted by the publishers and turned out to be a bestseller? I too had, which made me study the bestsellers. Having a bestseller is not merely about good language, or literary prowess. It is about holding the public eyes. A bestselling author should not be a mere writer but he/she should be a marketing person, psychologist and moreover a good observer. He should know THE BEST SELLER FORMULA. Let’s see the ingredients.
GENRE

If we observe the bestseller lists, we can easily see that three genres are the most popular. Romance, Thriller and Historical Fiction. Romance and Thriller are mutually inclusive genres. A romance book will have a cliff-hanger in the end while a thriller will have two protagonists who are united in the most unexpected circumstances but still manages to like each other. Historical fiction is a whole new storm which is more or less a misnomer. Mythological fiction would be the right term to name them for the characters are the innumerable Hindu gods and the famous, infamous or invisible persons in the Indian mythology.

‘Goody Two shoes’ protagonist

The protagonists, both male and female should be as perfect and clean as humanly possible. What if he/she takes a little bit weed or a shot or two of drinks or even get sloshed out in parties! They are the best partner each other could get. If it’s a thriller, especially an investigative one, the protagonists should have a dark past, preferably with each other.

Hinglish

How would an Indian author hold the audience without some Hindi swearing words and Hindi sentences, which of course would be translated? Using Hinglish has been cited as mandatory that the readers who doesn’t know Hindi would stop caring what the dialogues meant but still manages to read since it is a bestseller and if they don’t know the story, their friends would think that they are losers.

Making out sequences

Even if the situation doesn’t demand, even if the story doesn’t demand, there should invariably be a making out sequence with graphic details. It is a prerequisite especially on the penultimate chapter before revealing the suspense, so that the readers have to read and boost their adrenalin level which is already high.

Hefty bank balance

If you are a debut author, don’t even think of seeing your book in the bestseller stack unless you have money to burn for the readers these days no longer care about the quality of the book but they are more into telling their friends about whichever book they read. If you need someone to tell their friends about your book, you need to make sure that they see your book wherever they turn. Seeing your book in the spiral or vertical stacks has nothing to do with the sales of your book. You can attain it by simply paying the bookstore chains for the display which in turn would create an illusion of a bestseller which in turn makes your book one.

Apart from these if there are a few sequences where in the protagonists ogle at the women, break the traffic law, pass a few sexist comments, and give unreal surprises, hitting the bestseller list is a cakewalk for you. It would be perfect if you are an IIT, IIM pass out with a senior managerial job and 5-6 digit salary and you ditched the job and went into full time writing thereby denying a chance to a student who genuinely wanted the seat.

There could a lot of criticisms, and complaints about this post but still I chose to write this on behalf of thousands of writers who possess great talent, exemplary language and stories of substance but still did not get a chance to get past the slush pile just because their stories did not have the USP. There are hundreds of writers who have refused the chance to get published by top publishers just because they refused to squeeze in those commercial elements in their writing. Now a days it is a practice of asking the writer to mention their marketing tactics while submitting a proposal which proves that to become a writer you don’t need to have knowledge in literature but you should have extensive knowledge in marketing. I hope the scenario will change and those writers who are true to their hearts and those who write sincere stories would be recognised and provided the deserved acceptance because PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN SWORD.

Feminist or female chauvinist- Who are you?

Feminism is a term which has been abused for quite some time. With women’s day on your doorstep, it is quite a relevant topic that you should mull over. Anyone and everyone is a feminist these days with a strong anti-male indulgence. Respecting women has been used as a term that one should learn and practice daily so that it is used in every discussions, social media posts, and anything that concerns a woman. It is as if a man is not supposed to react even if a woman abuses on his face because she is a woman and he has to respect her. It is an era when women is termed to be empowered and being on the top of the world and it is the same era when women is forcefully be respected just because she is a woman. Is this feminism? Even if we check the dictionary meaning of feminism, it is written as political, social and economic equality to men.

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Photo Courtesy : Sharon Shyam Photography

Nonetheless a group of women with a persona of a feminist is trying to make it a point the women is glorified to a position where ‘Respect women’ is a punishment for the ages long discrimination that she has been subjected to. Should a women be respected if she doesn’t intend to reciprocate it, much less acknowledge it.

No term has been as skewed as the term ‘feminist’. In a family, if a wife obeys her husband, is it exploitation of a gender. It would be, if the same is not reciprocated from the husband’s end and it is only the wife who is on the obedient side. While the authentic and genuine feminists were trying to put forth the point, it was taken forward by a group of pseudo feminists or female chauvinists, and interpreted in such a way that the harmony in a relationship is affected beyond bounds. If you are a feminist, it doesn’t mean that you should stop dressing up, or wear unisex clothes or take all chances to portray men as a bunch of chauvinists and utter all sort of nonsense that the women have started fearing the public before saying that ” I am a feminist”, because then people would assume that they are anti-male. What message would they pass on to the next generation. Will they start viewing men in a different light?

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Photo Courtesy : Sharon Shyam Photography

We need 50% reservation in everything, specially reserved seats in public transport and all sort of amenities but still want to be counted in as equals! How convenient is that? While I used public transport, I have noticed that there are many teenagers and even young women who are reluctant to give up their seats to a pregnant woman or a mother with kids or elderly women. So what specials reservations do they deserve? Has it become so convenient that women can make use of their ‘being women ‘ status and flagrantly ignore a group of women who are indeed the weaker sections.

Section 498A in Indian Penal code is the historic change in the legal scenario which helped many women in escaping from the gruesome domestic violence they have been subjected to, so does section 376. But some weeds in the garden chose to use these sections to their benefit which forced the masses especially the bureaucrats who look into the matter to think twice before taking any actions. These women have not merely used these Indian Penal Code sections against  men but by faking such complaints they are using the same against women who actually needed support.

This women’s day, there will be a lot of resolutions taken by women- To make sure that no women is abused, verbally, physically, psychologically and sexually; To stop exploitation of the helpless women; To stand for the women’s rights and whatsoever reason. Amidst all these let’s also pledge to prevent those women who misuse these privileges from doing so; Let’s make women aware of the difference between feminism and female chauvinism; Let’s tell them that to be empowered women need not fight against men but move along with them. Women empowerment is not merely learning martial arts but by understanding the self worth and stop claiming respect. You need to give respect to take respect.

 

 

 

 

Vitamin E – Our skin deep buddy


Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

Last week we saw the three basic steps of skin care. We saw the importance of using Sulphate and Paraben free products. Next we will see what are the components that are key in the skin care regime. While we can vouch on several vitamins and nutrients, Vitamin E and Vitamin C holds the top position. Today we will discuss my experience and a few points about vitamin E. For me, # Evion capsule is synonymous to vitamin E since I haven’t used any other vitamin E capsules yet.

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My first experience with Vitamin E and specifically #Evion is post engagement. I was cramming my head as to what I should do to get the glowing complexion on my wedding day. It was my friend’s sister who suggested using Vitamin E.  What she suggested me was to cut open the capsule, mix it with olive oil and apply it all over the body before shower. Another was a hair care regime where in we can mix olive oil or coconut oil with vitamin E and apply to your hair before shower.

I tried it out for three months and trust me,on my wedding day, my skin was glowing! and my hair looked flawless. Post wedding, somehow this habit was inhibited and my relation with Vitamin E seemed brief, for the time being.

As you all know through my pregnancy posts, I got pregnant soon after marriage and was confined to bed. I was very troubled with the muscle cramps and since I was on strict bed rest, it was not possible for me to move my legs very fast or stand up. Those who might have gone through this turmoil can relate to this situation. That’s when I consulted my Gynecologist who in turn prescribed #Evion tablets per day. I was surprised and asked the doctor if #Evion or Vitamin E is for smooth skin. That’s when she took my class with a smiling face. It is a shameful fact that even after studying Biotechnology, I was unaware of this fact. What I learned from her and my education can be summarized below.

Apart from skin care, there are a lot of benefits of Vitamin E that we are unaware of. It balances cholesterol, fights free radicals, balances hormones, helps PMS syndrome, and helps build muscle cells. The fat soluble vitamin can be obtained from food items like sunflower seeds, almonds, hazelnuts, wheat germs, mango, avocado, tomato, kiwi, and spinach. It doesn’t mean that to make your skin look better, we should start gobbling these vegetables. We can incorporate these vegetables in your dishes, salads or even while you are having corn flakes. I used to make sure that these vegetables are included in my diet even when I was following strict weight loss diet. Even then, I try to include #Evion tablet on a thrice a week basis. Since it is a fat soluble vitamin I have my reservations on using it everyday but I take it thrice a week for sure because the food items might not provide the vitamin in the requisite amount.

I have been using Vitamin E containing skin care products like face wash, toner, moisturizer etc and if I cannot get it I mix vitamin E with my moisturizer just like how I did with olive oil.

Apart from this a unique tip that I am making use of is to add Vitamin E to the hair oil that I make at home. Here is the unique recipe that I have been using on my kid’s hair and that which provided my 6 year old daughter with flawless hair.

PS: I am planning to use this oil for myself as well.

Hair oil recipe:

Coconut oil: 250 ml

Pepper corn: 20-30

Basil Leaves: a hand ful

Aloe Vera gel : 1 Tea spoon( I use fresh aloe vera gel directly taken from the plant)

#Evion Capsule: 1 No. (cut open and the liquid is poured inside)

Heat the oil and put Pepper, basil leaves, aloe vera gel and vitamin E. The consistency of the basil leaves is the pointer to know if the oil is ready to use. Once the oil is ready the basil leaves would be crispy and becomes a powder on slight touch.

So that’s it for today. I hope you liked this post. So what are you waiting for? Go and grab your #Evion capsules from the nearest chemist and start following the skin care regime. Feel the difference and bask in glory.

To know more visit  http://www.evion.co.in/.

Meanwhile if you haven’t read my previous post, please click here.

Three golden rules of skin care

 

What’s in store for our girls on this international girls day

The question is of course rhetorical. I do not want to hear reservation or empowerment for an answer. Because by now all these utopian ideas have proved to be a farce. All that we can offer our girls is martial art class, psychological awareness, a pepper spray and a lot of prejudice. Even after numerous social media awareness programs, talk shows and debates, we are still stuck in the body shaming, slut shaming and male chauvinistic era. Do you think all these happen only in social media ? Do you intend to say that it is the men who slut shame women? Then I have to ask you which universe do you live in. Open your eyes and look around. You can see numerous women, ladies,aunties, oldies and teenagers who pass on the sleaziest comments against women.

Recently I attended a family friend’s function. When I entered their home, the first reaction of the host to my husband was “Why don’t you make her wear some clothes”. I looked at myself. I was wearing a kurta and leggings . Apparently I was wondering if I forgot to wear my leggings . No, it was there. A lose leggings  that didn’t even go with the definition of the “leggings” we see these days. The kurta was a high neck one. So cleavage is not visible. So what did I miss? Aah yes, sleeve. I was wearing a sleeveless kurta and was shamelessly flaunting my arms. Flaunting your back, bust, abs, belly button and even pubic hair is allowed as long as you are wearing a saree but your legs and arms should never be exposed to the public. What are you saying!! It is against our cultural heritage.

I still don’t understand why she asked my husband why he didn’t make me wear some clothes instead of asking me why I didn’t wear something. Is he the one who put on clothes for me? Or is it because they think that I make my husband do my jobs? No, the answer is clear. The insinuation was that why my husband “allowed” me to wear a sleeveless dress. I must take permission from him before wearing this and he should not “give” permission to wear sleeveless.

This is one of the harmless instances that I mentioned but what with the more serious, shameless, brutal and culture less thoughts revolving in the likes of the lady whom I mentioned before. God forbid if someone rapes a girl or woman who was wearing sleeveless or short dress they would say that she deserved it or even she asked for it. So why do we get surprised when men give rape threat to a woman. If his mother thinks that a woman should be raped for wearing modern dress or western dress for that matter, what would you expect her son to do with a woman. Respect? Nay!!

We should teach our girls to stand up for themselves, we should teach our boys to respect women, but before that we adults should behave. A man need not respect a woman with such sleazy mentality. A man should only respect a woman who gives due respect to him without being submissive and dominating. Before teaching a boy or man to respect a woman, let women start respecting each other irrespective of their dress, financial status, cast, creed or nationality.

Another comment that pinched my self-worth was ” it would have been understandable if she was from a rich family ” . So tell me, what is the connection between money and a woman’s individuality or self respect. If you are a billionaire, you can wear anything,do anything and say anything? What do we teach our girls if we ourselves do know how to behave?

“Why does he do all this gossiping?  Is he a woman?” I would say asking this question is a crime. The same insinuate that women keep on gossiping and being woman is a degradation for a man.

This international girls day, let’s not give them anything. Let’s work towards developing ourselves and our mentality. Let’s stand for each other and then teach our girls to stand for themselves.

 

 

My blog is nominated in Indiblogger Awards

Hi All

Thanks for the unrelenting support being provided till date. I would like to share the latest happy news with my dear readers and followers. My blog, our blog Scrutiny is nominated in IndiBlogger awards for Parenting and Current Affairs category. Kindly Support me with your testimonials in the link shared below

Testimonials for Rakhi Jayashankar

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