Find yourself #A2ZChallenge2020 #SelfLove

We know what you need to love yourself. We know how to excavate our passion. We know how to be yourself. To be yourself, we need to find yourself. You need to know who you are.

It is often an irony that we are the only ones who don’t know what we need. Yes, it sounds too far fetched but it is a fact that the ones who hurt you know better how to strike at the right place knowingly or unknowingly. You often think that the solution to a particular problem is the way to your happiness. But in reality the path to your happiness and peace is paved by you only. Your path to happiness has nothing to do with any problems in particular. It depends on how you train yourself to be unruffled no matter what.

  1. Realize your trigger:- The first step of finding yourself is to understand what triggers your mind. It could be a word, a person, mention about an incident or you yourself. You will be tempted to react to shut own the voices or persons that trigger. Sometimes ignoring the triggers is better than facing them. You need to figure out what works the best. Experiene speaks.
  2. Nourish your passion:- Now that you know your passion, you need to nourish it. There is an orgasmic pleasue to it. Make a world for yourself out of this drama in your life.
  3. Retrospection:- To find yourself, retrospection is inevitable. Rewind your past and try to find when you were the happiest. You will be able to find yourself and figure out how eliminate the negativity.
  4. No regrets: Don’t regret any decisions of your life becase everything that takes place is called destiny. There is reason for it and you will realise it somewhere down the line.

Excavate your Passion #A2AChallenge2020 #SelfLove

To tell someone to forget the past, to move on and concentrate on yourself is easy but on a practical ground, it is equally tough. It seems impossible at some point and all you would care about is how it is going to affect your image, future and character at large. The first thought in your mind would be that your enemy would be happy to hear your bad news. In short, your thoughts are clouded by someone else’s happiness rather than your own sadness.

To keep your thoughts away from all these, you need to get yourself engaged. No, you are wrong. I didn’t mean hobby. I meant passion. We watch movies, listen to music, read books etc. These are all our shortcuts out of the trauma but seldom do we realise that after the first 9 or 10 minutes your mind would disconnect from your body and starts going back to the epicenter of problems. After a while only we would realize that we have not been successful in this diversion. This is because all these hobbies mentioned are for the entertainment of the senses but whay we apparently need is not entertainment but the truth is that we need to engage our brain and start doing that which make use of the brain and we would be busy with it. It is the best therapy for us.

Recognising your passion is important. That which interests one might not be interesting for other. That which doesn’t seem interesting might indeed be your hidden passion. For instance, I have never counted cooking interesting. I have always been all about books. But at some circumstances I had to wear the chef’s cap. A few cuisine experiments and I realised that I love cooking. Since then, whenever I feel dejected, I cook. The best therapy for me.

Try doing everything possible and see what gives you real happiness and complete satisfaction. Thus excavate your passion and nurture it so that it will keep your brain busy and you no longer have time for processing negativity.

Drink a Cup of Positivity- The magic potion

Be positive, power of positivity, think positive, stay postive- Positivity has been the most trending hashtag in social media of late. We all want to stay positive and keep negativity at bay. Is that so easy? Well, no. The more you try to remain positive, the more you will face difficulties and find it difficult to keep up with it. Once to go down the road of positivity, our expectations would be higher. “I have decided to be positive. Everything would be good from now onwards.”

Then comes someone or something which pulls you down to where you started off. All the positive energy you have imbibed would seem to vanish. You will start losing your self worth, the confidence and evetything falls apart. This is the time to drink the cup of positiveTea. Close your eyes and shut out the world from even your mind. The negative thoughts will try to peep in. Always keep your guard up and the moment negative thoughts come to you, tell yourself to keep quiet. It’s the silence of your mind that is important, not the surroundings.

The cup of positivity is not any magic potion. It is your mind itself. How you tame your mind is important. Not entertaining things that affect you is the most important. Your phone has a block button. Use it wisely. Don’t use it to show your superiority but use it to silence your mind. Block the people who are affecting your sanity, the toxic people in your life. More about toxic people would be given in the future posts.

Now where you stand, you have learned to silence your mind, to shut our negative thoughts and wade through negativity. But something that you think you have achieved might not be that which you have fathomed. The phase that you are in, will change and more troubles would come your way. Your job is to be proactive. Tell yourself that it is not the end. It will come up again or something else would come up but you should never stop drinking the cup of positivity

Drink a Cup of Positivity- The magic potion

Be positive, power of positivity, think positive, stay postive- Positivity has been the most trending hashtag in social media of late. We all want to stay positive and keep negativity at bay. Is that so easy? Well, no. The more you try to remain positive, the more you will face difficulties and find it difficult… Continue Reading →

Come out of the shell #A2ZChallenge2020 #SelfLove

In the last post Be yourself and Fight For Your Selfworth , we saw about how important it is to be yourself and not care for the society. To change your perspective is easy but implementing the same is as difficult. There would be too many roadblocks once you decide to face it heads on. The prime allegation be “He/she was never like this. This sudden changes is arrogance” and the reason for this arrogance would be attributed to your success, money, relations or anything fancy reasons people would come up with because when it comes to framing stories about people in flesh and bllod, our society is the best author. This phenomenon doesn’t discriminate between cast, creed, education, occupation, gender or even dempgraphics. Well, gender can be debated!

What we have to do is to decide once and for all that you are going to be yourself and shut out everything that pulls you down in this process.

The moment your decide to change that bring out that little fire, you will have to face the most obstructions as change is the most unacceptable norm in the current society. How you hold your ground and pursue is the most important to do. Sometimes you would have to do something that you have never wanted to. You need to hold your resolve so as to overcome the inevitable and accomplish the impossible. Initially it would be the most difficult but your duty is to set yourself used to this judgement.Once you acknoledge and accept it, noone can prevent you. This doesn’t happen so easily. It takes time and resolve. After a few steps, get ready to run.

Be yourself and fight for your self-worth

We live in a society, that too a judgemental one. We will be judged by someone or the other at every point of our lives. We live our lives fulfilling the social norms that we foregt our self worth and end up not being ourselves anymore. Being ourselves doesn’t imply that you can do whatever comes to our mind because were are dealing with toxicity or negativity and we cannot be negative ourselves. Hence it is imperative that we should ask ourselves and confirm a few points to reinforce that you are doing the right thing. Since Awareness is the Key to start SelfLove, let’s be aware.

  1. Forget the society:- The societal standards might not always go with your moral standards. Morality is relative. The line of morality changes from person to person and hence you need to think and resolve where to set yours.
  2. Do what you love:- Not everyone get the happiness and satisfaction from the same thing. For some it would be music, for some it would be dance or movies or or cooking or books. For me books and writing is what gives the orgasmic satisfaction notwithstanding the literal one. No pun intended. You are the only one who can figure out it. Once if you zero in on something, don’t get stuck there. Explore more arenas and you will be surprised too see unreaped talent and passion lying inside you. For me it was cooking. I haven’t ever even dreamt that I would be someone who enjoys cooking. But once I ventured into cooking experiments, I realized that if not books, food is what gives me immense satisfaction
  3. Express yourself:- The moment you start expressing yourself, you will become the lightest person in the universe. By expressing, it doesn’t mean that you need to change your character and start behaving like Jeet in the bollywood movie ‘JabWeMet’. You could express your emotion through your passion. You can also express it in the literal sense if you like it that way. A whole-harted laughter can heal your sould like nothing else.
  4. Stay away from toxic personalities:- It could be your friend, relative, spouse, colleague or anyone who has an influence of any sort. Your decision should be not to entertain them at all. It took me years to learn that negligence is the best way to tackle to toxic personalities because they will do something to instigate a retort from your and use the same against you to play the blame game using victim card. You can either block them right away or tell them first. But once you tell them, once the conversation ends, the victim stand would be exchanged with that of the witness.
  5. Ask yourself the question:- While you try to be yourself and honest, you might end being a bully because truth is not always right if it does affect someone adversely. In an attempt to love yoursef and being yourself you should not end up being the toxic human being yourself. Hence never let your guard down and never let anyone prevent you from having the #MorningCupOfPositivity. Also, never hurt anyone intentionally.

Basically, the idea of being yourself is to take your conscience to the podium and not letting anything else on the dias, and have a cup of positivity.

Awareness is the key to start self-love #A2Zchallenge

When I announced the topic for the #A2ZChallenge by Blogchatter, I did not elaborate it. I did not emphasise what I meant with the word Self-love. The term can have several illustrations. Hence it is imperative that I should shed light on what exactly I meant with the word self love. So let’s see what is self-love and how are we planning to achieve it in the coming 26 days.

As I said before in the previous #WellnessWednesday post Self care and Selfishness , caring ourselves doesn’t make us selfish. Caring only about ourselves make us selfish.

Caring for yourself can happen at different levels. Taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health are inevitable for Self-care. You need to know your weakness and work on that, you need to be yourself, you need to be cautious about the tipping moment, you need to be out of the zone that pulls you down and moreover, you need to be aware of the key perpetrator or what prevents you from self-love. Self love is positivity.

Love yourself so much so that no one can love you more than yourself. How to attain this frame of mind of loving yourself productively and positively is what the series is all about. You will see how you can face certain situations and overcome it with positivity. Positivity is not some magic that will come to you and transform you with a magic mantra like ‘abracadabra‘. It is a process, it is a mind frame, a stage where you won’t let yourself affected with any negative situations and stubbornly hold your ground. So let’s buckle up and and pursue the journey of positivity through self-love.

Topic Reveal for Scrutiny-#BlogchatterA2Z

If you have been following my social media pages, you would know that I an participating in #BlogchatterA2Z challenge.

Thinking of the apt topic was not a tough job, as I was pretty clear about the topic. This topic has been the theme of my blog. The topic defines my blog now.

Of late I have been writing a lot of posts about positivity, detox, wellness- these basically define one trait. Self-care. Love yourself, care yourself

Physical, emotional and digital detox #DetoxTuesday

The word detox evokes the memory of a washout. As we saw growing up, warm water with honey, warm water with lemon juice etc. But a sole physical detox would not help the purpose. We need to cleanse inside out. Keeping that purpose in mind, I am starting a new series detox Tuesday starting from today. I will try to come up with a new post every Tuesday about the step by step process of the detox we need to apply. Today I will share two important steps of detox. (

I will be suggesting a few Apps. These are the ones I have used myself and found helpful. This is not sponsored.

  • Emotional Detox:- Emotional detox is inevitable if you need to have a positive mind. I have shared in my Motivational Mondays as to how you shouldn’t let anything affect you. The first step is to stay away from it. Remove or block the person who drains you out. If it is impossible, mute them and stop responding to them. Stop secretly peeping into their social life. Mute their status and stop checking what they are doing and feeling miserable yourself. Don’t forget that these days people live dual lives. One is the real life and the other is the social media life.
  • Second step is the Digital detox:- There are a lot of apps to track your screen time and I have tried most of them. Personally I have found YourHour quite helpful. Download the app, set your usage limit between 4-5 hours and unlock to 50 numbers. Monitor you usage for one day and see which App you are using the most. Set a limit for the App as well. See how it works for you for a week. I will get back to you with the next step next week.

Two golden rules about digital detox is no gadget harlf n hour before and after your bedtime. If you get to your phone the moment you wake up, the amount of toxic thoughts and negativity you breed throughout the day is unbelievably high.

So let’s start with the first steps of emotional and digital detox.

Self-care and selfishness- #WellnessWednesday

Welcome back to Wellness Wednesday. This series is not only skincare but self care and health care also. So today I though I will go with selfcare.Caring oneself doesn’t mean that you should be selfish but it means that you should keep yourself away from whatever pulls you down. If that comes across as selfishness , so be it. But you should understand the difference between self-care, self- respect and selfishness.

If you wish to be away from someone because you feel that the particular person is toxic to your life, or your well being or being with someone affects your self worth you should and you must step down from the relationship be it friendship, romance, marital life or even relatives.. There comes self-respect as well. Toxic love is an oxymoron but it is the current reality. It is important for our youth to recognize when something gets toxic and the when the danger bell rings.

As I always say, not letting yourself affected by all these drama in your life is the most important point to hold on to. Train your mind to not let anything affect you. The first step in this process is to recognise the toxic personality in your life or realise it when some situation or something someone tells is affecting your mind. Colloquially we say “Getting into your nerves” You should realise it when something or someone starts to get into your nerves. The moment you should stay away, stop responding and even stop thinking about it so that it won’t get past your imaginary shield of positivity.

When you decide to stay away from something that affects you, it is self care and self respect. But if your staying away or being with someone is decided by whether you can get anything done by them, then it is selfishness. You cannot disguise your selfishness as your self worth because then you degrade yourself as a human being. If you are deliberately, well n good. But if you are doing it thinking that what you do is being self caring, then you should understand that it is not the case. Next week we will see how to deal with selfish people.

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