Being positive doesn’t mean that you should always say positive answers to everyone’s request and “order”. Being positive also means that you should severe that which affect your peace of mind. Quite often you would have come across situations where you feel that you are being taken for granted. You keep quiet. Why?Because that person is sweet to you. Or Because you don’t want to offend anyone. Result? You end up being frustrated and feeling low.
Learn to say NO
Firstly, what you need to perceive is that positivity doesn’t mean positive answers. You can say a NO and still be positive because, with a simple NO, you could keep the further negative thoughts at bay.
You bottle up the emotions, frustrations and end up burning out.
Being there for someone is easier said than done. But if you are being there for someone who doesn’t value it, then it’s an injustice you do to yourself and your self-worth. So next time you hesitate to say a NO ask yourself because now you know the importance of saying no.
Questions to ask yourself:
1. Is it wrong to deny?
‘I can’t say no to anyone because if feel guilty.’ You might come across this line quite often or said it yourself. But have you ever asked yourself why?
You are conditioned to behave in a certain way that you make everyone happy. Be kind, compassionate – These lines are instilled so deep that you have lost the discretion of whom to be kind and compassionate.
You are mature enough to realize if you are being taken for granted. If you let yourself being subjected to it, whom should you blame? YOURSELF!
2. Will it hurt anyone?
As simple as it sounds, the question is equally tricky. If someone is there to make you feel that you hurt them, the decision to see through the pretence is up to you. Beyond this ‘victim play’ if you think logically, and still feel that your No will hurt them, you shouldn’t ent. But ‘anyone’ includes you as well.
Will it hurt you? Will you go on a contemplative mode about ‘Why didn’t I deny? , Why can’t I deny’ Therre you go you are hurting yourself.
3. Will it give me happiness and peace?
Sometimes, denial is tough. But once you put your door down and take the decision, you would feel like a burden is out of your brain. This is classic situation of toxic relations – be it friendships, or relationships.
We have grown up in country that gave birth to Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa. We are brought up with the ideology that we should help others and keep ourselves as second priority. We should indeed help those who are in need not the ones who need you for their selfish needs. Recognise them and keep them at bay without guilt. This post might sound like a negative one, but trust me this is the ultimate step to eternal positivity. Hold those that value you right but keep those that use you at bay. Learn the importance of saying NO! Say it without guilt.